Hmm.. been mugging for weeks, and its one more week before we're all free. But then, its been a long struggle for everyone. The thing is, this is the last test we can afford to screw up, i suppose. The last time we're going to have a 'safety net' to catch us if we get owned. After this, if we don't do well once, that's it. We're splattered.
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Somehow, these days, i don't feel like i used to. It used to be that whenever i aced a test (and believe me, it happened quite often) i'd be really happy, and that day would be like, special. Because i'd proven my ability once again. But now, I don't feel that joy of success anymore. Somehow or other, i think i'm more emotionless and serious now. Like, when i owned a hist test with 80++% in the past i'd be like "OH YEAH PWNAGE 4.0!!" Now, recently, when i'd gotten something in that range for a hist CCT, i didnt feel much. Just felt good when i got the paper back, but after that it faded rather quickly. Same went for Physics, and at some time previously, Bio. Maybe it's because i've realized that whatever i do, whatever i've gotten, it's not going to be enough. Like how i ace a good number of tests, then miss the 4.0 overall for a subject by just that bit. all because of a bad test or two. And i don't feel that anxious about exams as i used to. I used to feel that they were really important, that they were the most important thing in life. But now, it doesnt seem to be the case anymore. Maybe that's why i've lost some of my academic drive, although i'm trying as hard as i can now to study for the EOYs. And for some reason... i think that even if i get a 3.73 or something overall by the end of the year, i won't really feel elated or anything. That's just the way it is now.
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Call it stress or anything, but i think that this year has really taken its toll on me, and most students, for that matter. i just feel really tired and exhausted now. not just physically, but more importantly, mentally. i guess i'll just have to push on now, since its only 1 week to the end. But i know that no matter what i get, overall, i'll be proud of myself. because i did the best i could. and because there's always another chance next year. I'm still doing my best. But i'm not going to blame myself and go into depression if i don't ace this. I'm going to give myself the due rewards for my effort all year, or it'll carry on to next year, the stress and all. I guess i'll end here. Bye world.
# posted by
Tai | 5:31 PM
Digimon Tamer
Trainer: Tai
Age: 14
Birthday: Hi
Lurves: DIGIMON
Hates: Non-Digimons, excluding myself
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